whenever a day passes without me opening my mouth and saying words, things automatically revert to the default harassments and default relationship with the collective where they just police my every move by corresponding abuses. it seems pointless to say words sometimes, but when I do the contexts change for about a day to something that will allow these words to be better discarded.

Anyways, it pisses me off when they start getting all kinds of jollies trying to make you think that they are right about something and that they only treat you in certain ways because you deserve it. It’s this completely crude police-state mob-justice thing, and everyone partakes in it, and they do it in the names of the funniest shit. They overlook mountains and have rather insisted on treating me in extremely unreasonable ways for a very long time.

Everyone happens to know me everywhere, and they recognize me by my physical appearance. They never ever explicitly admit to knowing me, but they use their personal relationships with me to inflict retributions etc. for all kinds of details of my life, including ones never made public. An idiot wouldn’t notice these things. If some agenda needs to be enforced at any given time, they’ll be there to enforce it, and serve as various degrees of witnesses for the prosecution whenever required, although they never ever will notice or acknowledge anything factual or their own methods. If I don’t conform to the herd, I will have to suffer penalties next time I try to buy something. It’s this completely shameless fascism. Other things: in some ways it seems I am famous, and very much so. In other ways, like anything official, nothing indicates that I am even remotely famous and I receive very minimal official response to anything, and usually only of a sort trying to sell me something. In combination, the entire picture looks pretty suspicious, and there are things that wouldn’t be fair of me in some other context, but are pretty reasonable if you are living in this world. Notice that you all do the same things, act the same ways, and always just try to coerce me to do something tedious.