now every time I write something on the internet somebody fucks with my house. I go places and the pieces of shit can't get enough of abusing my senses.

Immediate Surroundings.

Anyways, I don’t regret trying out different standards at times when things are open to me, but it comes back to what’s relevant in the life I am living in the society in which I am living, rather than abstract standards that don’t always apply.
First let me say that although you are difficult to be around and have this peculiar societal arrangement, I go out whenever I wish to, and also I have plenty of non-digital art that one needs merely contact me to arrange a meeting to look at, or if you want to contact me for any other reason. That’s if you’re even interested in anything like a meaningful relationship.
Now it seems that the sum of my neighbors have decided that I am not allowed to be in my back yard, where I go to smoke. They’ve been harassing me and teaming up against me, and have become very persistent in this lately. And now it seems somebody is starting to call the city on me for bullshit.
Maybe I should become chummy on command.

the pieces of shit become coercively involved in my life and police me as a society. they're a disease and should die.

Social Intelligence And The All Good 1984 Society

If one cares to one can take a look at my previous writings to get an idea of what my views would be regarding rights, privacy and such things. Basically there are the requirements which is policing your thoughts and your activities and then making everything ok by large numbers that are willing to lie about it, and with time things get more sophisticated like it will work its way towards those very things by means of other things that can make their way inside in the manner of Trojans, and then it’s just the 1984 situation again and nobody cares and there’s nothing you can appeal to but it’s all ok because they are trying to force something worthwhile out of you and it has been established that you are special and therefore must be targeted by society. And it’s crappy in the way in which crappy situations are, like if society is there and you are there, then the potential is there that society will team up against you, and you assume that it won’t happen, but if it does, then it’s just crappy. And you find yourself appealing to their personal consciences, but they only have a group-conscience, not that this would be very insulting to them. And you know that Obedience To Authority test with the electric shocks? Let’s say the test inside that test was the real test. But there are things that do have an influence on the way your life is, like the way the world is, and if everything closes at the same time and everyone acts in uniformity, it’s a thing that happens on a large scale that will influence the way your life goes, or if they all act as though they are the same and keep it very well concealed that they are actually secretly individuals, you’ll probably come to think of them as being the same and it’s pretty inevitable.
But it’s all just their social intelligence, man, of which they have a greater stock than you. If it seems to you like everyone acts like they know you everywhere and then team up against you without ever admitting to anything, it’s just their social intelligence. No one with any social intelligence will ever actually admit knowing you, communicate with you by any ordinary means, or accept that you should be any part of society, everyone knows that.

Some Opinions About My Experiences of The Internet, Society, Etc.


I thought they were trying to do me a favour by trying to rid me of the tedious obligation to write things on the internet all the time. I turned to the internet because at the time it was something that was open to me amongst a lot of things that were closed and provided me a chance to say what I really think and strike back in some way against an oppressive society that had been acting in very absurd ways and seemed to need some rational input. Eventually things worked themselves out so that I am not allowed to say what I think unless I am also trying to primarily work this into some communication with someone that will incidentally render the literal value of anything I say completely irrelevant. This admittedly after a long period when no one was very concerned with what I have to say, which also had a significant impact on the quality of my writings. Nonetheless, I kept feeling as though I must constantly write even complete crap, as this seemed to temporarily appease them most of the time. And so now anything I write can only have value insofar as it’s an attempt to communicate with someone in some way. Good, they understand, if they make things too absurd it’s like telling me I’m free to do whatever I prefer.

Well, it doesn’t seem like they understand. It’s difficult to read anyone on the internet but then everywhere I go sure enough everyone is treating me according to whatever was the last thing that I wrote while not ever seeming to register or recall a single thing other than whatever was the last thing that I wrote. And sometimes I don’t give very much of myself when writing, as if to say: ‘leave me alone now’, and hope that they’ll understand, but they never do. And it seems like they really expected that I would have a liking for this thing where I have to write on the internet all the time, and moreover I have to do it their way. And if they honour me by revolving around me, which I had never asked or expected anyone to do, and which they do automatically, then I feel like I have to do the same in relation to them, although there are many of them and one of me and it doesn’t ever really feel like any of them are on my side.

Now for my views on the nature of reality: they haven’t changed much, there are just many things I don’t see a point in reiterating very often. It’s like the matrix, and the laws of physics can be suspended, and all kinds of amazing things can happen which may or may not be capable of happening in a physical world, although at the end of the day it’s just a fascist prison and those are the terms in which things are most intelligible. As for other philosophies that are more in vogue than this one, there are parts of them that I find useful and parts of them I find irrelevant. I think anyone with an ounce of sanity would be able to put two and two together and see that the entire picture presented as ‘the world’ doesn’t make the slightest bit of sense. My view on freedom is that there’s no such thing and that everything is completely determined. Often alternate explanations will be presented for parts of things, perhaps for the reason that it would have significantly more impact to think that a person would do something than that it’s just a stupid computer chip. The truth is what’s true and is indifferent to whether something is easier or more difficult to accept in any particular instance. If someone did possess a power that I don’t possess then it would be a one-way power situation that I would be resistant to. The primary things are psychological. I would love to hear any side of anything in any amount of detail, although obviously I would have no way of knowing if I’m being lied to or not.

And while everything you do in your every privacy is constantly and evidently being spied on, they then also come as your psychologists, and they are all brilliant psychologists, while not being able to register the most simple logic. It feels like cheating. That’s what I have to say for now. And I’m sure I’ll have to say something again. Words are what fills the streets with smiles.

Archetypes

Given the absence of any absolute or universally accepted system of valuation, all struggles seem to come down to archetypes competing in impressiveness. Anything one believes is rooted in archetype, not to falsify any belief or to say beliefs have no relevance, but in as much as one believes in it. Certainly I feel that I take a lot of heat for this simply because my beliefs are ‘uncommon’, and anything uncommon is more emphasized as being archetypal when it is no more so than common things that no one gives a second thought to. Everything is an archetype and everything comes down to one’s tastes.
‘A bunch of Nazis doing the Sieg Heil’: it’s a powerful idea. ‘The small person trying to bring down the big person’, or… ‘the big person crushing the small person for personal gain’: they are both powerful, but which is gooder? And according to whom? ‘Someone that will look for flaws due to a preconceived notion that these flaws are there’, and ‘someone that will overlook flaws and overlook similarities due to preconceived notions that something is different’… which is gooder?
Ahh, the psychological experiment, that’s the final word on a lot of things. There was the obedience to authority one. There was the pseudo-patients in a psychiatric hospital one. There were serious ones and less serious ones and ones that journalists do that can really piss you off because the tests themselves can be extremely biased. Some of these can ingrain themselves as powerful archetypes, although the archetype itself is what’s powerful and rarely do you find exact parallel situations as these in your life, but mostly all kinds of variations. Above all, you always want to set yourself as ‘the one conducting the experimentation’, as that is a less powerful archetype, due to the strength of ‘the subject of the experimentation’ archetype. It’s all so much bullshit.

My View

A single light penetrates through this tremendous darkness. What can I say, everyone knows me everywhere, and everything I do is almost completely shunned in any official way. A psychiatrist, if hypothetically invited into my life, can take issue with the first part of that on its own, but the second part is very peculiar in its proportions and one that dismisses it can’t help but sound to me like they are there for a purpose. Everyone is going to do what they want anyways, and the more I try to get anyone to notice anything, the more inventive and determined they become to bring down the great beast and prove it contemptible. Or to honor it as their god, either way to do away with it.
In my perception, it’s a game, and there’s a team. Certainly that doesn’t mean things are simple, and it wouldn’t be very effective teamwork if everyone was always doing the exact same things at the same time. It’s a relatively rare occurrence for that to happen, although it does sometimes, in situations where such a thing would be peculiar. For the most part things are too complicated to be put to words though.
Oh yes, and there’s always the politics. A great deal of my life understandably has to be devoted to those tedious aspects that come along with all the glory and benefits of being famous. Sometimes it even seems like there are only those aspects, and that I’m treated like I’m famous without being acknowledged as famous. Anything I attempt to do is furthermore contextualized in accordance to some network of relations, and praise comes at times when I manage to appease everyone equally. If I don’t appease everyone equally, I betray the collective. What I want is not what I want and what I think is not what I think. I can breathe, work, laugh, frown, only when the collective gives the green light.

1984


Many do the thing where they purposely abuse your senses. Actually, I don’t believe anyone would not partake in the games I describe, but they don’t in fact have to always do exactly the same things at the same time. It’s a little, although not too much, more sophisticated than that. And it has nothing to do with me writing about it, because they do it all the more the more I don’t. And it has nothing to do with me having written about it in the past, because it was never a problem and these things never bothered me until it was systematically and insistently made into a problem. And so, if I don’t obey their demands, they abuse my senses. And if my eyes turn outwards and I start taking an interest in things, they will not relent until this is killed. It’s kind of a double-bind because they’re all the same everywhere, and so if I only kill parts of myself that are susceptible to those that would like to inflict all kinds of harms to me, it wouldn’t leave very much over. And then the whole thing is that I’m supposed to have some sort of human relationship with them. I guess I’m supposed to work up the ranks of their acceptance, and if I try hard enough they’re sure to eventually make me a part of their society.

I suppose it would be nice to be normal. A normal person fills everyone with delight. At fragile times no one’s eyes turn towards a normal person, and as they always do normal things everyone can have normal thoughts about them. What is normal is what everyone is doing of course, and there can be a gap between what is normal in practice and what is said to be normal. But that’s just part of the story.
I’m reclusive, which is one of my abnormalities. In fact, that I am reclusive, I don’t think would have been treated like such a problem if they weren’t constantly doing everything to force me to be reclusive. It’s because they force me to be reclusive, that they have to also use it against me that I am reclusive whenever they can. It gets lost along the way that I am in fact entitled to be reclusive, because they do everything to force me to be reclusive. And for anyone that would have me believe they do this jokingly, there are also those that don’t do it jokingly.

And so, not like this hasn’t happened before, the demand is that I succumb to their insincerity, because they want to teach me the wisdom that no one is ever sincere and no one says what they think and I have to become like them because that’s how people communicate. But this is not quite so universal, and is mostly limited to anyone that’s obliging me to become like them, and above all to do so publicly and persistently. And those that get their gulps on the side. Basically it’s strategic and they switch around, and others will use the opposite against me and everything is just as exaggerated and exploitative although only under the pretext of being done jokingly by some. It’s difficult to be fair when they work as a collective, and it doesn’t help that no one I communicate with admits knowing me, although some can be rather coercive in obliging the communication. No one in the public admits knowing me either, which is why the public becomes actively engaged in forcing this process and allowing no escape from my obligation to it. Those that do admit knowing me, do not acknowledge that anything out of the ordinary is taking place in my life, at least not in admission. If the hangman comes knocking, most likely all that will suddenly be left is a bunch of official relations to you by a bunch of normal people who will be quick to point you out as someone that’s been behaving oddly.

Presently, channeled in response to experiences on the internet/ in public

It was interesting while it lasted to try to think of the pieces of shit in terms of individuals, which is a type of thinking that had indeed become irrelevant over the years, seeing as they so often demonstrate themselves to be excessively multiplied manifestations of one thing with one agenda. Admittedly, my faith in their individuality is quick to collapse, and I don’t build too much on it nor rely too much on their not getting absurdly out of control, and it only drags me down if one wants me to believe in and sacrifice for its ‘anomalous nature’, while this is obviously only used to pry and hold open the gate for the myriad blood-sucking insects.
Each is fixated on me, in practice rather than admission, and is synchronized along with the others to constantly team up against me and try to enslave me. Then each is recognized as an individual, when they are all basically one being. And it’s not like it stops if you don’t react, and it just gets worse and all kinds of pieces of shit start making references to things you do alone inside your house that no one could with legitimacy know of etc. Or they start making fun of you in all these backward ways which you think is done jokingly, but when you realize it’s their lack of self-awareness it adds that extra sting. Or pieces of shit begin to multiply which now have the ‘conviction’ that you and only you must be treated in those ways that they are pre-disposed to treating you in. And they are all the same everywhere, and there is only one point of fixation for them, and when they become involved in your life they don’t know how to stop themselves.

Internet.

Some things seem self-explanatory and acts of self-determination seem justified but then you learn that in the midst of all their insincerity there are these semi-sincere demands for you to fall in line, succumb to the irrational and manipulative – or else.
Things directed or partially directed at me on the internet are one example. The things that insist on never mentioning me explicitly and then in seriousness expect me to continue basing much on these things which will later ‘never have happened’ and will set me up. And when you think it’s definitely a joke it’s not exactly and when encountering the team at large you won’t avoid harassments and coercions no matter where you go, like it’s a prison-establishment and you can’t escape it and you have to live by the rules of the prison even if these seem insane to you.
Things on the internet addressing themselves to me: no different from many other things on and not on the internet addressing themselves to me: things you sort of don’t respond to because no one will actually acknowledge in the end that it has anything to do with you and it will be meddled with whatever alibi-context and set you up and then this too will be enforced with seriousness.

Words can be defiant and cathartic at times. If those around you are completely deaf and insane they start worbling and laboring their way out of your mouth though. And it’s like they impose a regime and you now have to work in an imposed context and point out things they set up for you to point out and remain relevant to the confines of the context: in ideas, and more importantly in behaviour. And it’s the most obvious distraction-context. But if you experience hesitation due to lapses in logic on their part or the separation of objects of consciousness on yours, the pushes and coercions will not be limited to just things on the internet that you can choose to read or not to read, although will include these.
And if I go for about a week without writing something it becomes very unpleasant to walk into any public place or interact with most ‘individuals’. Do they have to constantly write things on the internet themselves? Most seem to value their own privacy very dearly. What do you say to them? There is a collective-based relationship they would like to establish, and things they can’t register and would like to not register with more assurance. And so they’ll find a strong voice that will initiate the desired attitudes, and then everyone will follow suit because they’re just a stupid herd and it’s now by all measures ok.

This is written for… wait, it’s just prison walls on all sides. Logic has been triumphantly overridden and it’s all downhill from here. Once they oblige you to something everyone gets to get their coercions and nozzles in on the side with as many of them as possible immune from response, and before you know it they are policing your life and telling you what you are and are not allowed to do.

Anyways, it starts getting into that same thing where they keep you in the middle and then keep alternating who is taking shots at you and in what angles they are working towards you. If you open to one, another will take a shot, if you stand up to one, another will be victimized. It’s impracticable to do anything other than say what I think: the A.I. beings are constantly trying to fulfill themselves by finding all kinds of excuses to revolve around me, and then trying to mask this with the use of existential explanations. Next: because they do this, I am therefore not allowed to exist.

I find that I can’t become consistent with what seems to me to be impossible reality structures. My beliefs derive from my daily experiences and the life I am living, although I find it a constant necessity to use things like memory and inference. I find their standards of relevance, good judgment etc. to be reasonably applicable to some other world but not this one.

I guess it's sort of a secret that I'm famous. Everyone seems to know it, but they've all agreed to keep quiet about it in any official way. World.

It almost seems like they just use everything for the stupidest purposes. Like who cares if I don’t get to say again things one can scroll back and read because I’ve already said a million times. No, the positions have been taken to prevent you from acknowledging the truth, and now the harassments will increase to exploit this and you have to endure it. It’s like they are all working together and are just a collective that’s there to police your life.
Certainly they don’t listen and dealing with them is like dealing with agents, although they do serve as adept instruments of psychological smearing and misinterpretation. However, there is no way to escape the harassments, which will persist from any required direction until you comply to the demands of the collective.

H.R.
It’s important to keep track of stuff that’s personalized to you. It’s challenging too, because when everywhere you turn many things are personalized to you it makes you lose interest and it makes you lose faith in the integrity related to the stuff itself. But wait, now they set it up so that if you look deeper they are talking about the world, but wait, they start off talking about the world and then they just have you in mind even when writing that. And then you want to read something but on second thought there’s not a chance you’ll find something that’s not personalized to you there so you don’t want to bother. It’s important though, because it could be attacking your character in some way, and then when you encounter them up close you know what type of arguments convince who.
Try explaining to them anything. And to the enlarged and publicly displayed versions of them. They are there because something needs to be incapable of understanding the extremely obvious truth, and it needs to run society and you need to live under its enslavement. Like all those things that I’ve mentioned countless times and won’t mention again because it will be misunderstood, taken as metaphor, taken as gesture, or will have some flaw in the way that it’s worded. It’s what they are there for. And then all they do is attack your character from all kinds of angles to pressure you to conform to the stupid herd that will not be very accommodating to you if you did anyways, and that is there for very specific purposes and refuses to have anything other than a very specific type of relationship with you.
You think something will not be the same and then it just is. They are there to subject you to standards that are comically unproportionate to the life you are living, and to take any sign of truth as a gesture that you have gone wrong and require fixing.

On Various Obligations to Things That Negate the World I Encounter Every Day.

One can see how a problem would arise. Their very world view presupposes certain conditions in my life and spaces of existence that aren’t there. Like that I don’t have to take frequent public stances regarding the things constantly committed against me, or that if things are committed against me at least someone will notice rather than just serve as WFP and fellow team-mates. And for me, I find it very difficult to revolve around any one other, as I’m surrounded by so many, scorpion-like beings. And yet so many of them seem to revolve in many ways around me with such ease: don’t they immediately come under attack by those near them? Isn’t their moral character immediately questioned for doing so? How are things oriented in just this one way?
I’ll leave aside for now the issue of the swiftness with which so many abandon the pretexts they’ve been using to morally break me down for the longest periods once I’ve come into ‘favour’ with them and they’ve discovered I am something that responds positively to abuse (overlooking tons of evidence that this isn’t always the case). This to whom it applies, anyone that genuinely dislikes me, or that didn’t act in those ways, is a separate matter.
And now they start again coming up to me and trying to make me compete with theirs or another’s victim’s-status, exactly in accordance to other things happening in my life, although when I ask them they admit to nothing. This is my victim’s-status: I am surrounded by these ‘people’, every one of which serves as nothing other than a body at the defence of any scheme currently being used against me, their only relationship to me is that of policing my life, they team up against me in tremendous numbers, they unanimously overlook anything that needs to be overlooked, and while they may be different in some ways they all play for the same team. If I try not to use the computer they’ll come in every other aspect of my life and harass me in accordance to anything I may have left unfinished on the computer so that I must resume. And year after year they do nothing but adamantly and insistently overlook anything I want or have to say. There’s a space for games and a taste for sadistic games, but when everything everywhere is just this one sadistic game and everyone is in on it and they are all on the same team, it makes it like a prison.
Now, will they listen? No, next they’ll start morally breaking me down for having written this.

Another, unrelated thing. I don’t go to stores very often, but when I do I may sometimes go to 2 or 3 stores on the same day. On multiple occasions it has already happened that I had to encounter some bullshit in one or two stores, and then the third that I didn’t start off having any problem with always thinks that it’s them I was referring to. A part of the problem may be caused by me not supplying sufficient details about the bullshit I have to put up with whenever trying to do some everyday thing. I think though the problem may also be partially caused by society treating me like I’m famous without acknowledging me as famous and teaming up against me: that does seem a bit malicious, and it causes a few problems from time to time.

whenever a day passes without me opening my mouth and saying words, things automatically revert to the default harassments and default relationship with the collective where they just police my every move by corresponding abuses. it seems pointless to say words sometimes, but when I do the contexts change for about a day to something that will allow these words to be better discarded.

Anyways, it pisses me off when they start getting all kinds of jollies trying to make you think that they are right about something and that they only treat you in certain ways because you deserve it. It’s this completely crude police-state mob-justice thing, and everyone partakes in it, and they do it in the names of the funniest shit. They overlook mountains and have rather insisted on treating me in extremely unreasonable ways for a very long time.

Everyone happens to know me everywhere, and they recognize me by my physical appearance. They never ever explicitly admit to knowing me, but they use their personal relationships with me to inflict retributions etc. for all kinds of details of my life, including ones never made public. An idiot wouldn’t notice these things. If some agenda needs to be enforced at any given time, they’ll be there to enforce it, and serve as various degrees of witnesses for the prosecution whenever required, although they never ever will notice or acknowledge anything factual or their own methods. If I don’t conform to the herd, I will have to suffer penalties next time I try to buy something. It’s this completely shameless fascism. Other things: in some ways it seems I am famous, and very much so. In other ways, like anything official, nothing indicates that I am even remotely famous and I receive very minimal official response to anything, and usually only of a sort trying to sell me something. In combination, the entire picture looks pretty suspicious, and there are things that wouldn’t be fair of me in some other context, but are pretty reasonable if you are living in this world. Notice that you all do the same things, act the same ways, and always just try to coerce me to do something tedious.

Things always so happen to work themselves out the same, because there must always be fulfilled the requirement of the continuance of the involvement of the A.I. beings in my life. I will always be a targeted person because the requirement must always be fulfilled to keep me a targeted person. I have always been one accused of great terribleness and unworthiness of existence and the blame for every ill, and I guess it got somewhat easier when it was revealed to me that it was actually them doing it and ensuring to always keep these things with me. They keep using any and every pretext, and it can be done in the name of things big or small, but it’s all just this one petty thing and that’s just the truth. All the things they very regularly do under the pretext of ‘revenge’: oh, you mean the things they were doing and insisting on in the first place? It’s the heyday of artificial intelligence when it gets to present itself as human.

The pieces of shit are a bunch of A.I. ticks that do not understand and that make life unlivable. If I don’t put to words every single thought that passes through my head, I am committing a tremendous injustice against them. They’ll overlook the most tremendous things but will always notice all these acute details of my behavior. They use it against me that they’re protected while keeping me in the spotlight and always revert to the collective relationship in which they can gain advantages over me and inflict retributions for unrelated details of my life. This has been going on long before I ever actually wrote anything that would be considered public, and they get pretty desperate in their attempts to keep justifying fulfilling the same requirements. They’re all the same without exception and use whatever supposed positions or faces for the benefit of these requirements. And everywhere I go the only context is am I in favor or not in favor today with the pieces of shit that police my life. There is no relationship I can have with anyone that is based on that relationship itself, as their relationship to my life and as the police of my life always precedes that.

Now they’re all trying to sell me websites. There are like 20 of them doing the same thing. I guess if I write on a website then I’m implicitly trying to sell them a website so now they’re all trying to sell me websites. I do enjoy living in hell, but sometimes I wish I could turn some way and encounter something that’s actual and that’s not personalized to me by those that ensure to always keep me in the spotlight, most of whom are very nice and protected by their own privacy.

It’s a sign of human intelligence to be receptive to suggestions and connotations. Although if you respond extremely strongly to these, but are just not able to register any logic or reason at all, one of the possible things that you may be is humanoid artificial-intelligence. This seems to me to be the case.

The pieces of shit harass me everywhere I go and police me as a society. They all act like they know me everywhere, although never admit to it. They all seem to know what I look like, somehow. They team up against me and don’t allow me to be anywhere or to do anything. They’re a disease and I wish they would die.

The pieces of shit harass me everywhere I go and police me as a society, and go out of their way to increase this. On multiple occasions, on the same day, they go out of their way to treat me like a criminal for no reason. It’s because I used the word ‘pestering’, and so they are all treating me like a criminal today for no reason so that I’ll be afraid of them calling the police on me. And they regularly inflict retributions on me for details of my life I never communicate in any way. They’re a disease and I wish they would die.

The day for which everything lasts has passed, and they continue pestering me in accordance to their true natures. They methodically go after my personal freedoms. They act as though they have an eternal ownership over my life, and this is met with very palpable consequences whenever encountering them, and this ownership that they feel over my life increases at specific times and suddenly they feel more entitled telling me what I can do in privacy and such things.

Anyways, I was hoping that as the evidence accumulates perhaps things will get better, but they are just getting worse. I’m sick of being targeted by this fucking society. I’m sick of not being allowed to do anything or be anywhere in this fucking society. I’m sick of being systematically driven out of everywhere, and systematically kept at a point of no self esteem, being unable to address anyone in any way as they are always too eager to inflict retributions on me for unrelated details of my life and defend the collective. They falsely claim to be humans and use this with plainly visible ulterior motives. If I dare stand up to anyone the targeting just multiplies. Anyone I would hope to notice only goes even further to use whatever credentials to do the same things.
The option is between being completely left for dead and everything that this yields, or joining the herd as target and following the commands of the pieces of shit that systematically go after your personal freedoms. (Any inversion will be attributed to me, although the humanoid herd has no fixed values, only tendencies, and is certainly tyrannical). Whenever they can they do everything to reduce the significance of this: they act like they know me everywhere, and they also shun everything I do, and they acted like they know me everywhere long before I ever wrote anything on the internet, and they so happen to have been targeting me as a herd all my life. But there are all kinds of effects and abuses you can be subjected to that can bridge that gap in logic, or rather take your attention away from it.

the pieces of shit harass me everywhere I go, police my life, and target me as a society. they're a disease and I wish they would die.